In this episode, I talk through what happened this summer—from the first worrying ultrasound to the devastating diagnosis, surgery, and the emotional aftermath. I share how this experience brought me back to the pain of Brody’s death, reignited old triggers, and made me confront what healing looks like when both your body and heart have been through trauma.
I’m opening up about the reality of pregnancy after loss, the cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy that led to emergency surgery, and the quieter work of figuring out how to keep living when grief keeps reopening old wounds.
In this episode, I talk through what happened this summer—from the first worrying ultrasound to the devastating diagnosis, surgery, and the emotional aftermath. I share how this experience brought me back to the pain of Brody’s death, reignited old triggers, and made me confront what healing looks like when both your body and heart have been through trauma.
I very colorfully talk about:
Cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy
Why trying to conceive can become a form of re-traumatization after loss
How grief, hormones, and racing thoughts can collide under stress
The loneliness of navigating fertility, motherhood, and social situations after baby loss
The small things that keep me afloat—home decor, coffee, friendship, and showing up anyway
I also get honest about the awkward, often insensitive things people say to grieving parents, especially around children, baby loss, and “at least” language.
If you’ve ever felt blindsided by grief, alienated by conversations meant to be supportive, or wondered how to move forward when life keeps taking hits, I hope this conversation meets you where you are.
This is a heavy episode, but not a hopeless one. I’m still here, still processing, still building, and still choosing the things that make life feel livable. Sometimes survival looks like coffee, wallpaper, and taking one honest day at a time...sprinkled with a bunch of F bombs, let's be real.
Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival
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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!
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Find me here:
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Youtube: @thekatherinelazar
Website: www.katherinelazar.com
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https://www.northsidepnl.com/